it's the bitter taste of losing everything..

Tue, 12 Jul 2005 06:24:30 GMT

summer so far has been quite a rollercoaster, but it feels like i'm taking shortcuts around all the problems i encounter in every situation given to me. old experiences just seem to creep up and with all that ive been through, i cant seem to stop making the same mistakes. i know that until the very end, i will still be in all the pain i've felt before. then again, i am not in a sober state now so i may just be talking a bunch of bull.

bored and doing a survey..

Fri, 24 Jun 2005 22:02:06 GMT

Bold the ones you have done

smoked a cigarette
smoked a cigar
madeout with a member of the same sex
crashed a friend's car
stolen a car
been close to love
been dumped
shoplifted
been fired
been in a fist fight
snuck out of my parent's house
had feelings for someone who didnt have them back
been arrested
made out with a stranger
gone on a blind date
lied to a friend
had a crush on a teacher
been to Europe
skipped school
slept with a co-worker
seen someone die
had a crush on one of your LJ friends
been to Canada
been to Mexico
been on a plane
thrown up in a bar
purposely set a part of myself on fire
eaten Sushi
been snowboarding
met someone in person from LJ
been moshing at a concert
been in an abusive relationship
taken painkillers
love someone or miss someone right now
laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by
made a snow angel
had a tea party
flown a kite
built a sand castle
gone puddle jumping
played dress up
jumped into a pile of leaves
gone sledding
cheated while playing a game
been lonely
fallen asleep at work/school
used a fake id
watched the sunset
felt an earthquake
touched a snake
slept beneath the stars
been tickled
been robbed
been misunderstood
petted a reindeer/goat
won a contest
run a red light
been suspended from school
been in a car accident
had braces
felt like an outcast
eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night
had deja vu
danced in the moonlight
hated the way you look
witnessed a crime
pole danced
questioned your heart
been obsessed with post-it notes
squished barefoot through the mud
been lost
been to the opposite side of the country
swam in the ocean
felt like dying
cried yourself to sleep
played cops and robbers
recently colored with crayons/colored pencils/markers
sung karaoke
paid for a meal with only coins
done something you told yourself you wouldn't
made prank phone calls
laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose
caught a snowflake on your tongue
danced in the rain
written a letter to Santa Claus
been kissed under a mistletoe
watched the sun rise with someone you care about
blown bubbles
made a bonfire on the beach
crashed a party
gone rollerskating
had a wish come true
humped a monkey
worn pearls
jumped off a bridge
screamed penis in class
ate dog/cat food
told a complete stranger you loved them
kissed a mirror
sang in the shower
have a little black dress
had a dream that you married someone
glued your hand to something
got your tongue stuck to a flag pole
kissed a fish
worn the opposite sexes clothes
been a cheerleader
sat on a roof top
screamed at the top of your lungs
done a one-handed cartwheel
talked on the phone for more than 6 hours
stayed up all night
didn’t take a shower for a week
pick and ate an apple right off the tree
climbed a tree
had a tree house
are scared to watch scary movies
believe in ghosts
have more then 30 pairs of shoes
worn a really ugly outfit to school just to see what others say
gone streaking
played ding-dong-ditch
played chicken
been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on
been told you're hot by a complete stranger
broken a bone
been easily amused
caught a fish then ate it
made porn
caught a butterfly
laughed so hard you cried
cried so hard you laughed
mooned/flashed someone
had someone moon/flash you
cheated on a test
have a Britney Spears CD
forgotten someone’s name
slept naked
French braided someone’s hair
gone skinny dippin in a pool
been threatened to be kicked out of your house
been kicked out your house

PROCRASTINATION. man.

Wed, 08 Jun 2005 11:08:55 GMT

so im up, and its almost 4 in the morning. i had a project due friday, which then got extended to monday and i didnt go to school both monday and today cause of it. and look at me now, im barely half way done. im feeling nauseous.. maybe too much junk food and red bull that i dont really think is um.."vitalizing my body and mind" cause i feel like shit. oH and please disregard my really..i guess retarded-sounding post before this. i was just wayy out of evertyhing, but it's still standing strong that i will be trying my very hardest to stop, well bluntly, smoking and that other shit i tried. and thats a big step for me, cause after i began it i just became so freaking lazy, not that i wasnt before, but it just makes me.. slower, and have this incredibly bad short term memory. i passed a whole day of being sober today and it wasnt too bad. tempting yes, but doable. i guess for awhile it started out from just being dependent on using crap to suppress feelings i didnt want to feel anymore(which didnt help), then to always having a good time and a carefree spirit for a few hours that seemed like forever, and then i guess yesterday it hit me that yeah right now, it may seem like just having a good time and all, but in the long run that shits only gonna mess the hell out of me. i mean i dont know how long this will hold, if im gonna be breaking it next week, or month, but im still keeping that promise that ill try to stop and yeah i think i can do it.
well im tired, okay lazy, but i guess ill be up in 2 hours finishing that damn project. AND DAMN... theres like only a week left till many of us will be out of high school for good. wow, what a long four years of change and experience.. good night.

Tue, 07 Jun 2005 06:08:53 GMT

well today has been pretty damn amusing i guess?
early start with uhh.. getting,if youd like to say,"crunk" on a monday afternoon.
today, i made a promise with mike that we are both going to stop the "stuff". the stuff i have been doing a lot lately, that keeps me laughing at the slightest things, yeah the stufff thats just fun. man, i hope this promise keeps up for a long while, and if anything its beneficial cause hey! maybe ill be a bit faster with things now. haha i dont know.

im in a real good mood, it's definately not all by me, or naturally.
but hey , theres always a first for new things, today. and a last for things, And thats, well today.. oh boyy.. its 11 at night already too.. oh jeez.
well i better get started on that project i didnt turn in today..
bye bye now.

senior ball 2005

Tue, 24 May 2005 06:25:33 GMT

me and daddy

my lovely sisters, bonnie , who helped me get ready, and esther.

at mission for the couple pictures..

lame prom poses. again,

bernesa!

stopping for a drink cause bonnie craved for some tapioca like always,

bonnie insisted taking prom poses... at tapioca express..

we then finally arrive to wiggins house,

my gorgeous friends.

the beautiful leslie and carolyn

cutie pie erica

wiggin and erica. HOT.

hottie tiffany.

me and leslie!

sizzzlee..haha

my love..

the group

the boys,

bang. haha

thats about it!

concert.

Sat, 14 May 2005 08:48:29 GMT

wow. i came back from the jimmy eat world concert.
boy oh boy were they super fantastic.
today, was a good day or should i say yesterday night.
good night friends.

damn

Thu, 12 May 2005 07:16:11 GMT

i hate how procrastination gets to me.
i hate how a single person has the ability to control the way i feel and just make my day incredibly good or just the opposite.
i hate that i have to wake up so damn early.
i hate that im attending a school i dont want to graduate with.
and i also hate how i have these negative moments at home, sitting in front of the computer doing nothing beneficial.
just like now.
fuck.
sometimes i just hate myself.

maybe i just need sleep.

college..

Tue, 03 May 2005 04:29:34 GMT

for about the past week my mom and i have been going to just about all the csus around here, and we also visited santa cruz. if anything, UC santa cruz is just so damn beautiful, and if i had not known that i wanted to become a nurse, for sure id be attending gorgeous santa cruz. but with all the long and tiring last minute visits for colleges, ive decided on san francisco state and that ill be dorming over there as well.

from the day i can remember, i was always so worked up on moving back down south for colleges or just moving out of the house. yet, a few days ago my dad calls me over and he starts talking to me about how he knew that i wanted to go to SF and how he knew my mom was pushing UCSC on me, but i should go wherever i want and he'd support me through all of it. after the little talk i had with him, i felt an emptiness that ive never really ever felt with my parents. it just hit me that ill be leaving the comforts of home, and never did i think i would miss home, in fact i didnt i think id be missing anything about home. i guess it comes to show that everyone is really growing up. it feels almost too serial for me to grasp that ill be leaving, and though its just an hour and a half away, ill still be sleeping, eating, and living in a completely different atmosphere. i guess in a way, i feel a bit selfish. selfish for leaving home when i have a sister to look after, parents, especially mom, who really does not want me to leave and who keeps on trying to persuade me to go somewhere closer. the only thing im pretty damn sure of , is that if im in a different environment, ill be a bit more motivated to try, and the fact i know my parents will be and have always been working their asses me and my sisters, i REALLY hope to god that i will leave SF state successful, fulfilled with nursing, and able to help support my parents and finally get my dad to retire and finally just relax at home. id also buy him an RV so him and my mom can travel wherever the heck they want. thats my wish, a wish i know i can make true if i am to apply myself for once.

cute old ass picture!!

Tue, 12 Apr 2005 05:45:42 GMT

esther has already posted this picture up, but i couldnt help but post this up as well cause it's so damn cute.. its a picture of us when we were little ones; me in the center , esther on the left, garrett on the top left, wade on the top right, and little emi on the bottom right. back in the days this is when we were all growing up together in orange county.

i miss being a kid.

one long ass spring break post.

Mon, 04 Apr 2005 06:47:23 GMT

ahh spring break went by super fast. i went down to SOCAL with my greatest friends, (carolyn leslie erica) and stayed in irvine at my grandmas apartment. (i miss her oh so very much) honestly the trip was such a blast. not once over there were there things for any of us to worry about too much, besides the lack of time. it's pretty damn amazing how much 4 girls can do in a matter of 2 full days, cause went down on monday then left on wednesday . just an overview of what we did... here it goes.

monday we left to socal in the morning arrived around the evening at irvine. during the trip down we visited cal poly. i thought it was a pretty nice campus, a lot of white kids, and a bunch of hot white guys. damnn. haha anyways that was only half way down to irvine, and with a crapload of traffic we got to irvine pretty late but managed to still pay a visit to UCI. ive gotta say it sucked that i didnt have any film on the beginning of the way down, but crossing santa barbara was so incredibly beautiful and so cute with the palm trees in between the freeway. heres a couple of

cutie pic of erica and carolyn

super dark pic of leslie and i

TUESDAY me and erica slept in while carolyn and leslie visited UCI in the morning. once they got back we had to take my grandmother to garden grove to the doctors office. i love her so much and i cant stop saying it. anyways while she was there me and the girls went to south coast plaza for a bit and boy are there some rich ass people down in that area. the stores were like for damn millionaires, and the dresses we tried on were overpriced too. so then we went back to pick up my grandma then went to fashion island. it was pretty pricey also, but leslie found a super flattering dress there so that was a good thing. we ate dinner at cheesecake factory, not anything new, but we found a hair in our sampler and ended up hardly finishing anything. we got back to irvine around 11 or 12ish and i was contemplating as to if i should stay another day and visit san diego with ezra and thomas who were also in socal, but ended up not. BUT ITS OKAY!

and then here comes one of the biggest highlights of the trip..we got to visit my longtime friend jenny jin for a bit, and went to eat at a place called guppy's which served shaved ice, weird but pretty damn good. then on the way back erica was driving and i had assumed they were all really tired so i didnt say anything about visiting the house i was raised in at orange county, but luckily erica was all.. "hey jo wanna go visit your old house?" and so we did. i remebered all those things that i always noticed as a kid, but then it took us a long while to actually find the house cause it was about 2am, dark and there were so many damn neighborhoods. finally we reached my block, and i got like goosebumps and nervous for some odd reason, and right before my eyes was my house that i havent seen for like almost 9 years. not only that, i got to see my old child/neighborhood friend wade. i felt bad cause he had school the next day and i told him we'd see him earlier that day, but plans changed and that late in the night was pretty much the only time we could see him. so after about 5 calls to his cell i was about to give up, but leslie said to call 2 more times and at the last ring , he finally picked up. so he came out in his pj's and until i saw him, i realized that it really had been a long ass while. almost 9 years since we really saw eachother, and despite the fact we havent seen eachother for years, and that we were out till 4am, it was so nice to catch up on things..

us girls at fashion island

dinner at cheesecake factory

jenny!! me doing some weirdass shit with my legs..?

erica and leslie conked out in jennys car

a bad picture of my old house..=[

and this is WADE! this was us at like 4 in the morning.

and us when its super cold with a super bright flash.

and the rest of going back home pictures...

oh and the day we left i met the baby my grandma babysits. he was so cute and reminded us of a grandpa baby. please notice the never-ending drool..

driving to melrose on the way back home..

awww my baby carolyn dozing off.

ugly me with my 6buck shades with cutsie leslie

erica driving on what we all thought was 101, not one of us had a clue until we didnt see palm trees or bodies of water. rather things like..

these, lots of trucks, and farms. but it took us girls all about an hour on highway 99 to realize it. haha but it was damn funny. we pretty much got to drive across california..

good shit. =] and good night. that was one long ass post..

PS: oHH and ERICA FONG!!! i got a billion pictures of you sleeping hun. those will go on veryyy soon. haha

Fri, 18 Mar 2005 08:32:13 GMT

regret.regret.regrets.

.

Sat, 12 Mar 2005 07:26:01 GMT

nowadays i have my highs and my lows with my moods. i really dont know whats causing it, but i guess its a mix of things that i should be stressing about a lot more than i actually am. college is just around the corner and maybe it was the whole school transferring that got me to become a lot more irresponsible with notifying all the colleges i had applied to. there are a lot of regrets that i hold that go beyond school issues, and the fact that i owe my parents a lot more than what little im giving to them. in some ways i could say i have progressed compared to the beginning of the year, but in other ways im still stuck in that little world of mine that i believe i could get away with just anything. its a bunch of bull though because i know for a fact things are slowly coming back at me in the most unexpectable ways. i honestly wish i could change for the better and i know its not an overnight kinda thing, yet i feel like ive already fucked up once too many times, and its too late at this point. eh who knows maybe im just at one of my low moods as of now. well night.

feeling a bit better.

Wed, 23 Feb 2005 09:35:19 GMT

i guess i havent posted in here about the many things that have been going on throughout this oh-so-truant girls life. well to start off, getting transferred to kennedy hasnt helped one bit at all. i am so fucking infamous with the damn administrators for my damn truancies and whatever that follows. im not denying the fact that i brought all the negative things upon me, but hey if i didnt learn from the first or second conference, i gotta learn from the third right? and i am. it hit me hard. watching my mom plead for me the second time was a sight that made me ache so bad inside. and the fact that fucking principal made assumptions that i am a disrespectful daughter towards my mom, yet she does not know anything about how much i care for my mom. but the highlight of the whole conference had to be getting yelled at from my principal because i added a damn "whatever" to her damn name. that mother fucking british bitch is fucking mad cause she has her own damn issues at home. i swear my theory of old cranky bitches are true.. (but youd have to ask me what my theory was then.) whatever dudes and dudettes. hopefully all goes well, ill show them with my perfect attendence from now till the end of high school. damn. this sucks.
and ill end off with some semi-old and more recent pictures just for kicks.

my "surprise" 18th birthday bash.

the very beginning of my hotellyyy

like joann said.. "apple juice?" haha

some of the kiggas..

some of the wiggas.

my love. even though she has her own. ;]

sister love.

ahahahahaha

and the yesterday pictures..

yepp about a month ago i got those baby's, yanno banngss!!

esther calls this artistic..

oh charlie.. not sosexy.

and it begins to be UPP and CRAZZYY..

me and christine called these "artistic" or in other words, we became picture whores...... hahahha

and goodnight..!

fucking rain isnt helping one bit at all.

Sun, 20 Feb 2005 17:38:20 GMT

oh help me god.

man oh fucking damn.

Tue, 04 Jan 2005 09:14:22 GMT

so lets start off the new year with a bit of drama anyone? it seems as time passes the more things i found out about people who seem to enjoy talking shit while they cant admit to it. wow. i am mighty speechless in that sense.

anyways... cant believe it is damn 2005 already. i guess a lot of good/possibly bad things are happening. for one im graduating the shit hole high school that seems to enjoy to torture innocent people for four damn years of complete bull shit. but theres always the good side of things as well. ive met incredibly "tight ass" people and ive learned a whole lot during the past four years of my life. high school, or i mean during high school, as youre growing you learn by countless mistakes. and i have many, yet its not that im regretting it anymore, but just learning. here goes for my list of resolutions? welljust cause charles did it ;].

1. respect my parents a lot more.
2. try and become a better christian, to the point where i can be a role model for others. cause at this point, i know i am nowhere near that.
3. begin to respect myself and health. (also meaning to cut down on those cancer sticks) though i doubt i can accomplish that.
4. i had my share of drama, and this year im going to try and decrease those sort of shit events.
5. minimize the cuss words that come out of my mouth.
6. find a job.
7. find a boyfriend. haha i am so just kidding. i swear.
8. well, find someone who will change me, for the betterment of myself.
9. pick up a healthy hobby. finally find something im somewhat good at.
10. stop dying my hair, after tonight.

well im gonna go dye my hair. dark brown. yes to cover all the orangey colors out. hopefully itll turn out somewhat okay? good night and happy new year. (none of those resolutions are gonna come through.) also another resolution is that ill stop being so "pessimistic". cause someone i know always says i am, but i think im always just being realistic. yup yup.
good night buds.
+

none.

Fri, 10 Dec 2004 06:40:27 GMT

this week is becoming one big blurry blob. the further it gets into the year, it just seems like everything little by little is going downhill. maybe its one of those phases, that whatever you do wherever you are nothing feels like its doing you any justice. i have these little theories on why i might be so.. shitty. possibly one of the the reasons overpower every other little theory. whatever. anyways my day was a bit lifted by thomas. he bought me a pair of shoes, which he really dislikes, but still got them for me cause im one of his favorites. AND cause he knew i felt shitty. THANK YOU! and alex and ezra who he said pitched in for too. all sport those "soccer shoes" with style and looovee. thanks guys. and thank you for putting up with me. thank you for taking care of me while im puking my brains out, and letting me use 1 of your billions of beaters like a tissue. ha, thanks. love you all so dearly.

Tue, 30 Nov 2004 11:00:42 GMT

alright so its almost 3am. and i am officially done with my college applications.
YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
thank the lord!
wooopie doo!!
now its all about the acceptance shit. oh shit.
anyways. i guess,
tommorrow will be a new day.
big fat. *sigh*

goodnight.

.. you made everyday so sweet

Mon, 29 Nov 2004 08:46:29 GMT

well hello. its been awhile since ive made an entry in here i guess. so today is the last night of freaking break. yeah it sucks like a bitch, but 3 more weeks is it till winter break? i guess i can wait, or thats all i can do. right. anyways, all in all this break had its ups and downs, with its apologies, a night in san francisco soaking up old school green day with my 2 bestest girls on earth EVER, getting wasted, and wasted again oh and who can forget, college applications. as you may or may not know, it's pretty much official that im not attending mission san jose fucking high school ever fucking again. yeah i can admit that im fucking bitter, but who the hell likes mission anyways. i mean the only reason i still wanna go there is cause most of the greatest people i have ever met are there and the fact im not going to be able to graduate with them is pretty damn shitty. the administrators can kiss my fucking ass for all i care. in my opinion the fact they are "kicking" me out is not because i do not live within the district, but moreso about every other little reason. yeah ill stop ranting about that shit, but i just wanted to say ill miss everyone at mission. all the mission friends ive ever had and still have i love you all very much. ANd dont forget little joanna while shes at ghetto kennedy. haha.

so i got inked like... last friday? yup. some like it, some hate it, some just say im an arabic lover. last night probably had to be the highlight of my whole break. i hung out with the old crew, they ate at formosa while i was craving a vietnamese sandwich.. cause they are so effing good. then we just stalled for hours and hours, okay maybe like 40 minutes, but i swear it felt like 1000 years. we then decided to get some booze, only 3 of us took shots, including me and my fifth grade love. HAHA. knowing me and my incredibly low tolerance, i got effed up within 10 minutes. after that i went to another party with my favorite clubbing buddy and my beshtest friend. drank a bit more. met hella nice people. left. argued with people, while i shouldnt have, but would not trust me to drive. however, i can and did drive perfectly fine thank you very much. then william dropped by, him and his hobo gear. haha kidding but it was a nice short visit by a person i dont see very often. we then left. went to my girls home along with the fifth grade love haha, ate, then slept like babies. damn i love how im just listing whatever the heck i did last night. alright ill end this one short, so i just came back hanging out with my koreans. fun shit.

well here i go about continuing my college applications.
goodnight loves.
and hello kennedy fools..

sitting here on a saturday night.

Sun, 31 Oct 2004 04:26:43 GMT

it's weird, cause this has probably been one of the first saturdays i have gone without going out. hmm, i guess it isnt that bad staying home just here, sipping on my earl grey tea. ((im craving one right now, but im fighting it.)) well this whole week has been filled with hanging out with my korean buds, almost for the past like two weeks now. its pretty chill with all of them because we're all just so damn comfortable around eachother, sometimes.. too comfortable. ha.
. besides the chilling, spending time outside of school and home, doing my own shit, i guess throughout all that, i have been losing track of what is actually important at this point in time. i have realized what my problem is, yet i cant nor want to do anything about it because, well it doesnt make sense, but im just so fucking fed up with myself. everything ive done and everything i ever do, it just seems like if i enjoy, then i cant do it, but if i need to do it and i have to do it, i dont have the motivation to. i feel bad and more depressed and depressed again whenever i think about how much my parnets sacrifice for my damn ass, and all they get in return is a slacking off, unmotivated, little bitchass daughter who cant seem to do anything right in her life. i dont know, maybe its just because of the call outs of the grades from teachers for the quarter grades, and more than half of them im pretty much failing. or im hopefully at a turning point where im beginning to realize i dont have fucking time to fuck around like im still gonna be in high school next year. from the rate im going, i know for a fucking fact, im not gonna be at some college id hope to be at. im not gonna be somewhere i wish i could just be independent for once, in my own little dorm room, meet new people, have that experience as a freshman in college from fremont back to her hometown in southern california. then again, the way a person thinks in life always affects how the future may turn out to be right? maybe its true, like my good friend always told me, eversince freshman year i was complaining and singing out that i wont get anywhere to my advantage in life, and that id jsut be screwed in the end. eh.

. almost feels like my past just predicted my future.

tummy aches. =p

Mon, 25 Oct 2004 08:10:09 GMT

kRnStyleNoW: IF U SLEEP
kRnStyleNoW: UR DEAD

kRnStyleNoW: NO
kRnStyleNoW: no nap
kRnStyleNoW: if u nap
kRnStyleNoW: im gonna drive there
kRnStyleNoW: no
kRnStyleNoW: ima call ur house
kRnStyleNoW: wake the whole house up
kRnStyleNoW: i seriously will do it

kRnStyleNoW: do wutever
kRnStyleNoW: i dun care
kRnStyleNoW: SCREW U

hahaha pretty hilarious i say. okay thomas, ill listen...after this. =]
this weekend has been goood. KP!!! well until i started thinking about studying, last minute.
im doing horrible in all my classes for one, maybe except for art.
mrs. fuckign prarie called my mom about my "herendous" attendance.
theres college shit to think about, when while the rate im going with school academics, i know im not gonna get any where of my choice.
i cant wait till this is all over.
and thank you very much fucking mission san jose highschool that has no benefits with all the damn competition.
goodnight yalls and lets see if this biatch can pull an all nighter..

dizzammm.. ha. not really.

Thu, 21 Oct 2004 05:08:01 GMT

whoa was today a superlongass day.
i didnt attend all but one class today, which was 4th period.
cut the rest of school,
starbucks,
billiards,
then.. yeah =[,
animal shelter to pick my mood back up,
saw a reallllyyy cute 8 month mini poodle.
studied at the library, that went very well.
then im at home, now contemplating if i should go out or not.
late? yeah i know. but hm, okay.
bye.

yeah call me crazy..

Tue, 12 Oct 2004 11:30:00 GMT

freaking 4.18am as of now. maybe i am one crazyass lazyass who procrastinates to the very last minute to do anything. sad thing is i havent even finished my damn homework. i still have math, physics.. hm what else. oh a shitload of SAT11 writing crap. my stummy hurts. and i think ill post some pictures up? eh nevermind photobuckets being stupid. these days, i really dont knwo what the hell im doing with my time. im not thinking of the future, but just being so fucking LAZY. i CANNOT at a crucial period like this be this fucking unmotivated. which i always am. my grades are already dropping, fast.
damn its cold.
and damn im not going to first or second tomorrow.

oh new news::
officially not working a Qcup anymore. parents are refusing to allow me to work at such a "gangster"-looking-type-of-guys infested environment. not like they can do any harm to me. whatever. im going back by the end of december if i havent found a better/more entertaining job. i like having pocket money, all that accumulated from just tip. damn. it.

..nonexistent.

Mon, 04 Oct 2004 06:12:08 GMT

i dont know what it is.
or maybe i do?
im just feeling so hollow.
just so indescribably,
empty.
i hate all this stress and everything else piling onto it.
i need to catch up. if only time could just wait for me.
maybe im just deprived of sleep. that may be a big factor.

where's one when you need one?

i got through some hw and some sat crap today. yay for me!

Thu, 30 Sep 2004 06:45:00 GMT

random question.. sorta.. kinda.. but not really..:::
:::::
what do you think in your opinion is the prettiest and most unique type of writing? meaning in a different language? (besides chinese, not that i have anything against it. i just know its already beautiful.)if you have any in mind PLEASE SHARE. thank yas.

i want some coffee, yet i want some sleep.
gosh damn im weird.

Sun, 26 Sep 2004 23:21:52 GMT

hmm.
joannas feeling like shit.

oh and one more thing.
not that it has anything to do with whats up there.
how i was before and how i am now.
thats not for just anyone to speak upon.
dont go behind my back talking about
how i am "now", until you get your little
so called perfect snobby ass and say something to my face.
and i cannot believe i used to defend your damn ass,
while everyone would be talking shit about what a bitch you are.